Chapter
1
Ours
is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically.
The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to
build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is
rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future:
but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We've got to
live, no matter how many skies have fallen.
This
was more or less Constance Chatterley's position. The war had
brought the roof down over her head. And she had realized that
one must live and learn.
She
married Clifford Chatterley in 1917, when he was home for a
month on leave. They had a month's honeymoon. Then he went back
to Flanders: to be shipped over to England again six months
later, more or less in bits. Constance, his wife, was then
twenty-three years old, and he was twenty-nine.
His
hold on life was marvellous. He didn't die, and the bits seemed
to grow together again. For two years he remained in the
doctor's hands. Then he was pronounced a cure, and could return
to life again, with the lower half of his body, from the hips
down, paralysed for ever.
This
was in 1920. They returned, Clifford and Constance, to his home,
Wragby Hall, the family `seat'. His father had died, Clifford
was now a baronet, Sir Clifford, and Constance was Lady
Chatterley. They came to start housekeeping and married life in
the rather forlorn home of the Chatterleys on a rather
inadequate income. Clifford had a sister, but she had departed.
Otherwise there were no near relatives. The elder brother was
dead in the war. Crippled for ever, knowing he could never have
any children, Clifford came home to the smoky Midlands to keep
the Chatterley name alive while he could.
He
was not really downcast. He could wheel himself about in a
wheeled chair, and he had a bath-chair with a small motor
attachment, so he could drive himself slowly round the garden
and into the line melancholy park, of which he was really so
proud, though he pretended to be flippant about it.
Having
suffered so much, the capacity for suffering had to some extent
left him. He remained strange and bright and cheerful, almost,
one might say, chirpy, with his ruddy, healthy-looking face,
arid his pale-blue, challenging bright eyes. His shoulders were
broad and strong, his hands were very strong. He was expensively
dressed, and wore handsome neckties from Bond Street. Yet still
in his face one saw the watchful look, the slight vacancy of a
cripple.
He
had so very nearly lost his life, that what remained was
wonderfully precious to him. It was obvious in the anxious
brightness of his eyes, how proud he was, after the great shock,
of being alive. But he had been so much hurt that something
inside him had perished, some of his feelings had gone. There
was a blank of insentience.
Constance,
his wife, was a ruddy, country-looking girl with soft brown hair
and sturdy body, and slow movements, full of unusual energy. She
had big, wondering eyes, and a soft mild voice, and seemed just
to have come from her native village. It was not so at all. Her
father was the once well-known R. A., old Sir Malcolm Reid. Her
mother had been one of the cultivated Fabians in the palmy,
rather pre-Raphaelite days. Between artists and cultured
socialists, Constance and her sister Hilda had had what might be
called an aesthetically unconventional upbringing. They had been
taken to Paris and Florence and Rome to breathe in art, and they
had been taken also in the other direction, to the Hague and
Berlin, to great Socialist conventions, where the speakers spoke
in every civilized tongue, and no one was abashed.
The
two girls, therefore, were from an early age not the least
daunted by either art or ideal politics. It was their natural
atmosphere. They were at once cosmopolitan and provincial, with
the cosmopolitan provincialism of art that goes with pure social
ideals.
They
had been sent to Dresden at the age of fifteen, for music among
other things. And they had had a good time there. They lived
freely among the students, they argued with the men over
philosophical, sociological and artistic matters, they were just
as good as the men themselves: only better, since they were
women. And they tramped off to the forests with sturdy youths
bearing guitars, twang-twang! They sang the Wandervogel songs,
and they were free. Free! That was the great word. Out in the
open world, out in the forests of the morning, with lusty and
splendid-throated young fellows, free to do as they liked,
and---above all---to say what they liked. It was the talk that
mattered supremely: the impassioned interchange of talk. Love
was only a minor accompaniment.
Both
Hilda and Constance had had their tentative love-affairs by the
time they were eighteen. The young men with whom they talked so
passionately and sang so lustily and camped under the trees in
such freedom wanted, of course, the love connexion. The girls
were doubtful, but then the thing was so much talked about, it
was supposed to be so important. And the men were so humble and
craving. Why couldn't a girl be queenly, and give the gift of
herself?
So
they had given the gift of themselves, each to the youth with
whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The
arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making
and connexion were only a sort of primitive reversion and a bit
of an anti-climax. One was less in love with the boy afterwards,
and a little inclined to hate him, as if he had trespassed on
one's privacy and inner freedom. For, of course, being a girl,
one's whole dignity and meaning in life consisted in the
achievement of an absolute, a perfect, a pure and noble freedom.
What else did a girl's life mean? To shake off the old and
sordid connexions and subjections.
And
however one might sentimentalize it, this sex business was one
of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections. Poets
who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known there
was something better, something higher. And now they knew it
more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman
was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love. The only
unfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the
matter. They insisted on the sex thing like dogs.
And
a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his appetites.
A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child he
would probably turn nasty and flounce away and spoil what was a
very pleasant connexion. But a woman could yield to a man
without yielding her inner, free self. That the poets and
talkers about sex did not seem to have taken sufficiently into
account. A woman could take a man without really giving herself
away. Certainly she could take him without giving herself into
his power. Rather she could use this sex thing to have power
over him. For she only had to hold herself back in sexual
intercourse, and let him finish and expend himself without
herself coming to the crisis: and then she could prolong the
connexion and achieve her orgasm and her crisis while he was
merely her tool.
Both
sisters had had their love experience by the time the war came,
and they were hurried home. Neither was ever in love with a
young man unless he and she were verbally very near: that is
unless they were profoundly interested, TALKING to one another.
The amazing, the profound, the unbelievable thrill there was in
passionately talking to some really clever young man by the
hour, resuming day after day for months...this they had never
realized till it happened! The paradisal promise: Thou shalt
have men to talk to!---had never been uttered. It was fulfilled
before they knew what a promise it was.
And
if after the roused intimacy of these vivid and soul-enlightened
discussions the sex thing became more or less inevitable, then
let it. It marked the end of a chapter. It had a thrill of its
own too: a queer vibrating thrill inside the body, a final spasm
of self-assertion, like the last word, exciting, and very like
the row of asterisks that can be put to show the end of a
paragraph, and a break in the theme.
When
the girls came home for the summer holidays of 1913, when Hilda
was twenty and Connie eighteen, their father could see plainly
that they had had the love experience.
L'amour
avait possé par là, as somebody puts it. But he was a man
of experience himself, and let life take its course. As for the
mot a nervous invalid in the last few months of her life, she
wanted her girls to be `free', and to `fulfil themselves'. She
herself had never been able to be altogether herself: it had
been denied her. Heaven knows why, for she was a woman who had
her own income and her own way. She blamed her husband. But as a
matter of fact, it was some old impression of authority on her
own mind or soul that she could not get rid of. It had nothing
to do with Sir Malcolm, who left his nervously hostile,
high-spirited wife to rule her own roost, while he went his own
way.
So
the girls were `free', and went back to Dresden, and their
music, and the university and the young men. They loved their
respective young men, and their respective young men loved them
with all the passion of mental attraction. All the wonderful
things the young men thought and expressed and wrote, they
thought and expressed and wrote for the young women. Connie's
young man was musical, Hilda's was technical. But they simply
lived for their young women. In their minds and their mental
excitements, that is. Somewhere else they were a little
rebuffed, though they did not know it.
It
was obvious in them too that love had gone through them: that
is, the physical experience. It is curious what a subtle but
unmistakable transmutation it makes, both in the body of men and
women: the woman more blooming, more subtly rounded, her young
angularities softened, and her expression either anxious or
triumphant: the man much quieter, more inward, the very shapes
of his shoulders and his buttocks less assertive, more hesitant.
In
the actual sex-thrill within the body, the sisters nearly
succumbed to the strange male power. But quickly they recovered
themselves, took the sex-thrill as a sensation, and remained
free. Whereas the men, in gratitude to the woman for the sex
experience, let their souls go out to her. And afterwards looked
rather as if they had lost a shilling and found sixpence.
Connie's man could be a bit sulky, and Hilda's a bit jeering.
But that is how men are! Ungrateful and never satisfied. When
you don't have them they hate you because you won't; and when
you do have them they hate you again, for some other reason. Or
for no reason at all, except that they are discontented
children, and can't be satisfied whatever they get, let a woman
do what she may.
However,
came the war, Hilda and Connie were rushed home again after
having been home already in May, to their mother's funeral.
Before Christmas of 1914 both their German young men were dead:
whereupon the sisters wept, and loved the young men
passionately, but underneath forgot them. They didn't exist any
more.
Both
sisters lived in their father's, really their mother's,
Kensington housemixed with the young Cambridge group, the group
that stood for `freedom' and flannel trousers, and flannel
shirts open at the neck, and a well-bred sort of emotional
anarchy, and a whispering, murmuring sort of voice, and an
ultra-sensitive sort of manner. Hilda, however, suddenly married
a man ten years older than herself, an elder member of the same
Cambridge group, a man with a fair amount of money, and a
comfortable family job in the government: he also wrote
philosophical essays. She lived with him in a smallish house in
Westminster, and moved in that good sort of society of people in
the government who are not tip-toppers, but who are, or would
be, the real intelligent power in the nation: people who know
what they're talking about, or talk as if they did.
Connie
did a mild form of war-work, and consorted with the
flannel-trousers Cambridge intransigents, who gently mocked at
everything, so far. Her `friend' was a Clifford Chatterley, a
young man of twenty-two, who had hurried home from Bonn, where
he was studying the technicalities of coal-mining. He had
previously spent two years at Cambridge. Now he had become a
first lieutenant in a smart regiment, so he could mock at
everything more becomingly in uniform.
Clifford
Chatterley was more upper-class than Connie. Connie was
well-to-do intelligentsia, but he was aristocracy. Not the big
sort, but still it. His father was a baronet, and his mother had
been a viscount's daughter.
But
Clifford, while he was better bred than Connie, and more
`society', was in his own way more provincial and more timid. He
was at his ease in the narrow `great world', that is, landed
aristocracy society, but he was shy and nervous of all that
other big world which consists of the vast hordes of the middle
and lower classes, and foreigners. If the truth must be told, he
was just a little bit frightened of middle-and lower-class
humanity, and of foreigners not of his own class. He was, in
some paralysing way, conscious of his own defencelessness,
though he had all the defence of privilege. Which is curious,
but a phenomenon of our day.
Therefore
the peculiar soft assurance of a girl like Constance Reid
fascinated him. She was so much more mistress of herself in that
outer world of chaos than he was master of himself.
Nevertheless
he too was a rebel: rebelling even against his class. Or perhaps
rebel is too strong a word; far too strong. He was only caught
in the general, popular recoil of the young against convention
and against any sort of real authority. Fathers were ridiculous:
his own obstinate one supremely so. And governments were
ridiculous: our own wait-and-see sort especially so. And armies
were ridiculous, and old buffers of generals altogether, the
red-faced Kitchener supremely. Even the war was ridiculous,
though it did kill rather a lot of people.
In
fact everything was a little ridiculous, or very ridiculous:
certainly everything connected with authority, whether it were
in the army or the government or the universities, was
ridiculous to a degree. And as far as the governing class made
any pretensions to govern, they were ridiculous too. Sir
Geoffrey, Clifford's father, was intensely ridiculous, chopping
down his trees, and weeding men out of his colliery to shove
them into the war; and himself being so safe and patriotic; but,
also, spending more money on his country than he'd got.
When
Miss Chatterley---Emma---came down to London from the Midlands
to do some nursing work, she was very witty in a quiet way about
Sir Geoffrey and his determined patriotism. Herbert, the elder
brother and heir, laughed outright, though it was his trees that
were falling for trench props. But Clifford only smiled a little
uneasily. Everything was ridiculous, quite true. But when it
came too close and oneself became ridiculous too...? At least
people of a different class, like Connie, were earnest about
something. They believed in something.
They
were rather earnest about the Tommies, and the threat of
conscription, and the shortage of sugar and toffee for the
children. In all these things, of course, the authorities were
ridiculously at fault. But Clifford could not take it to heart.
To him the authorities were ridiculous ab ovo, not
because of toffee or Tommies.
And
the authorities felt ridiculous, and behaved in a rather
ridiculous fashion, and it was all a mad hatter's tea-party for
a while. Till things developed over there, and Lloyd George came
to save the situation over here. And this surpassed even
ridicule, the flippant young laughed no more.
In
1916 Herbert Chatterley was killed, so Clifford became heir. He
was terrified even of this. His importance as son of Sir
Geoffrey, and child of Wragby, was so ingrained in him, he could
never escape it. And yet he knew that this too, in the eyes of
the vast seething world, was ridiculous. Now he was heir and
responsible for Wragby. Was that not terrible? and also splendid
and at the same time, perhaps, purely absurd?
Sir
Geoffrey would have none of the absurdity. He was pale and
tense, withdrawn into himself, and obstinately determined to
save his country and his own position, let it be Lloyd George or
who it might. So cut off he was, so divorced from the England
that was really England, so utterly incapable, that he even
thought well of Horatio Bottomley. Sir Geoffrey stood for
England and Lloyd George as his forebears had stood for England
and St George: and he never knew there was a difference. So Sir
Geoffrey felled timber and stood for Lloyd George and England,
England and Lloyd George.
And
he wanted Clifford to marry and produce an heir. Clifford felt
his father was a hopeless anachronism. But wherein was he
himself any further ahead, except in a wincing sense of the
ridiculousness of everything, and the paramount ridiculousness
of his own position? For willy-nilly he took his baronetcy and
Wragby with the last seriousness.
The
gay excitement had gone out of the war...dead. Too much death
and horror. A man needed support arid comfort. A man needed to
have an anchor in the safe world. A man needed a wife.
The
Chatterleys, two brothers and a sister, had lived curiously
isolated, shut in with one another at Wragby, in spite of all
their connexions. A sense of isolation intensified the family
tie, a sense of the weakness of their position, a sense of
defencelessness, in spite of, or because of, the title and the
land. They were cut off from those industrial Midlands in which
they passed their lives. And they were cut off from their own
class by the brooding, obstinate, shut-up nature of Sir
Geoffrey, their father, whom they ridiculed, but whom they were
so sensitive about.
The
three had said they would all live together always. But now
Herbert was dead, and Sir Geoffrey wanted Clifford to marry. Sir
Geoffrey barely mentioned it: he spoke very little. But his
silent, brooding insistence that it should be so was hard for
Clifford to bear up against.
But
Emma said No! She was ten years older than Clifford, and she
felt his marrying would be a desertion and a betrayal of what
the young ones of the family had stood for.
Clifford
married Connie, nevertheless, and had his month's honeymoon with
her. It was the terrible year 1917, and they were intimate as
two people who stand together on a sinking ship. He had been
virgin when he married: and the sex part did not mean much to
him. They were so close, he and she, apart from that. And Connie
exulted a little in this intimacy which was beyond sex, and
beyond a man's `satisfaction`. Clifford anyhow was not just keen
on his `satisfaction', as so many men seemed to be. No, the
intimacy was deeper, more personal than that. And sex was merely
an accident, or an adjunct, one of the curious obsolete, organic
processes which persisted in its own clumsiness, but was not
really necessary. Though Connie did want children: if only to
fortify her against her sister-in-law Emma.
But
early in 1918 Clifford was shipped home smashed, and there was
no child. And Sir Geoffrey died of chagrin. |